Why you can't stop people-pleasing (even when it's destroying you)

You said yes to the extra project when you were already underwater. You apologized in a situation where you did nothing wrong. You spent three hours crafting a text to someone who barely crosses your mind anymore, just to make sure they weren't upset with you.

You know you do it. You've probably been told to "just say no" more times than you can count. And yet here you are, still doing it agreeing to things you don't want, shrinking yourself to keep the peace, putting everyone else's comfort before your own.

This isn't a willpower problem. And "just say no" isn't the answer. Let me explain why.